The Peculiarity of Us All

"Just a couple more paddles, Valeria...", he said with worried eyes.

"Seriously?! Just a couple more?! Maybe for you, but for shrimpy over here, it's going to take time, sweat, and the blood of an unwanted virgin to make it before the gators swim here, and devour us all!"
...
What do you get when you have a sarcastic person with an x chromosome, a loner with an x and y chromosome, and a river? Perhaps love, maybe even hatred, but most definitely a right hook to the face...