Act 1 Smeme 1

In fair Verogna (pronounced veh-row-knee)
Where we set our smeme
Two hills both alike in dabbingness.
One is Cat-Pool the other is Monk-Tag
They dislike each other very much because one day 1000 years ago, Steve Cat-Pool stole a loaf of bread belonging to John Monk-Tag. Ever since then, they have wanted no more in life than to bake the member of the other hill into a large pie, then to consume it on a park bench overlooking the expansive river diarrhoea.