I told myself that I would stay strong. I would smile in the morning as if I hadn't been crying the previous night. I would prove to the world that John had been my love, my heart, my everything. I would prove to the world that I had courage. I would understand that this wasn't my fault and that it wasn't his. I would understand that it was all part of God's plan. I would fight through the pain and make John proud. I would be the mother I wished my mother would've been.