Cant you close your goddamned door?

What happens when somebody wants a dog so very badly, that their willing to take over the world?
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•A original story that's set in Oregon!
•LOTS OF SWEARING
•Mature themes
•No romance but there's kinda a bromance.
•Main characters family life is horrible, and abusive tbh. (Verbal/neglect kind) unfortunately this was needed to start the plot.
•If you have any suggestions on how to write the story, it would be really helpful!
•Lots of dog puns and jokes.
•Probably gonna be a hell ton of references tbh.
•Bullying and death threats.
•Depression.
•It'll still have some funny moments though don't worry! It just has a lot of RL issues piled onto it.