PROLOGUE

I'd been waiting five long years when Death finally came for me. An obscure look on a cold spring day. The unspeakable feeling of knowing you'd be reunited with your loved one soon. Unfortunately for me, Death had a different idea. "Please save my cat!"

I stared at him, speechless for a second. Then I slammed the door in his face.
"No!"

A minute later his face showed up though the condensed window. "Why not?"
"Will you please stop pestering me?!" I shouted. "Of all the improper times you could have picked. I'm not here for you cat!"

• In which: Death is a vegan, spirits are not to joke with, and cats are the size of your house •