Part 1: Rise and Shine and WTF?!?

So one morning Deadpool (me) woke up and found himself in a park, disheveled, blood stained, (seriously, my favorite suit, ruined) and dead bodies and random trash all around. What the hell happened? And how does it all relate to tacos? (Real question is, how does it not?) Get ready to read the tale of one of Deadpool's most random, dramatic, action packed, and all around craziest days ever! Also did I forget to mention Spider-Man? (Yeah, web head makes a guest appearance, but this story is STILL all about me!) Obviously the characters featured belong to Marvel (blah blah blah legal jargon, read the story already!).

Warning: This story contains violence, some bad language, and some sexual innuendo.