Pest Control

Once upon a time there was-----

Wait wait wait. No. Andraste's tits, there is no way in hell that's how we're starting this story. If you want something filled with fairies, Prince Charmings, and Ogres then go read something else. This isn't a story revolving around a princess-to-be cleaning floors or some other bull; this heroine is more... unexpected.
Okay let's put this simple, princess lovers leave now. Whoever is down for some pranks, magic, mystery, bad puns, and overall bad ideas; come on over! Welcome to the strange side.
Welcome to my life.