Before

Excerpt from book: "Since we've broken up, he's left such a negative impact on ever wanting to be in relationship. I am utterly terrified when given the chance to allow myself to feel those flutters in the pit of my stomach. It will always be a question in the back of my mind 'Is he going to hurt me like James did?' So, my safest bet is to not feel anything at all. That's why I get excited for Lily, if I can't experience the feeling of being infatuated, I'm glad that I have the chance to witness someone close to me light up when I know never can."

Until she met him...
Stella needs him. She wants him. She feels safe when him. She needs to be held by him one more time before it all has to end.