"Alohamora!"

Harry really does not need this shit in his already dysfunctional life. It isn't his fault some idiot had let Malfoy carry a time-turner - an illegal time-turner - around the place. So when Malfoy pisses Harry off, yet again, Harry can't help but lunge at the git's stupid pointy face and somehow - somehow! - they end up in the future.

A future where they have to pretend to be the boyfriends their friends know them as. A future where Malfoy is Head Curse-Breaker and Harry is Head Auror, and they have to solve one of the biggest mysteries in Wizarding history.

And it all goes tits up from there.
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originally called the love club
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cover by @NeverYawn
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