Prologue

Yep, it's official; I, Lily Bradford, have a crappy life.

1) I am in a vicious love triangle with the SBA (Sexiest Boy Alive) and the school's answer to Megan Fox.

2) My so-called best friend has dumped me for some stuck-up himbo with a brain the size of a peanut.

3) A harmless game of match-maker has gone a little bit too well for my liking.

4) My dog has just pooed in my room. Somewhere.

So there you have it, the fantastic life of moi. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and kill myself. And try to find the mystery piece of poo in my room...