Coffee addiction

So I wrote this somewhere around July last year when I was in an almost delirious state after drinking too much coffee a couple of hours earlier, and I have decided to share it with the world, I should I add that I do not intend for it to be taken seriously considering that I was not in a proper state of mind, I just find this piece of writing funny because of how devoid of logic and reason it is. I only wrote this to get all of these thoughts out of my head so I could go to sleep.