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  • Before We Were Strangers
    87 11 1

    Laura has noticed some odd things happening in her apartment. Is it a ghost, an intruder, or something even more sinister? (WINNER of Wattpad Humor's Steal the Title contest)

  • Boarders
    26 3 1

    Brian is new to Deepdale, an English boarding school for 11 to 18 year olds. The place is a labyrinth and for the first few days, Brian relies on another boarder to help him find his way back from the bathroom. It's not long though before Brian has to make the journey himself, and this time it's after the curfew and t...

  • Tuesdays with Telemarketers
    18.3K 3.2K 46

    I love to mess with telemarketers. So, it's a good thing they call me on the regular and can't seem to figure out how to delete my number from their databases. The stories in this book are true, and they always follow the same format. The phone rings, and I adopt a character or scenario that's designed to mess with t...

  • The Good Death Guide
    127K 2.6K 2

    I found this book. It's for dead people. Yeah. I'm a little worried. A short story about what really happens when you die. A Wattpad 'Featured List' story and winner of the 'HQ Love Award' in the 2014 Wattys! I hope you enjoy it! If you do, please check out my new short story collection for Kindle, 'The Good Death G...

  • Sam, Jake and Dylan Want Money: Episode One - Black Market Prawns
    18.2K 607 8

    These are the adventures of Sam, Jake and Dylan, three degenerate losers who live on the 42nd floor of Hazy Towers, the worst apartment block in the known universe. They don't have jobs, or buy food, or ever pay a single cent of rent to their spineless landlord, Mr Hayes, because it's so much cheaper just to slam the...

    Completed   Mature
  • Day 1
    2.2K 100 1

    An Alien called Angus who emits some serious gas, a psychotic blonde with a fire arms fetish and a drain emitting Shakesperian prose, apparently they've had odder days at the Department of Editors and Auditors, but John's just there for an interview for a new job. Day 1 of his new career seems to be taking a severe tu...

  • The Observations of Patrick Kraker.
    64K 3.3K 10

    I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of cou...

  • Worst Story on Wattpad ✓
    3.1M 185K 4

    Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nation...

  • Love came with an Umbrella | ✓
    25.4K 2K 7

    Life was all average for Shin until that one rainy day, when a girl in a baggy hoodie and a plain umbrella came and stood beside him, her umbrella over his head and with no words. And that's how it started. His love. Well... who knew all it takes is a girl, a boy and an umbrella to fall in love? Cover credit: yours t...

  • A Dead Conversation
    3.7K 392 1

    ⇝Featured on Wattpad @humor profile⇜ Death is stuck in an odd conversation with its latest reap from Earth, and Death is not backing down. Cover by @wannabea-