Because it's 2 in the morning and I'm in a venting mood ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
cry:
verb
1. shed tears, especially as an expression of distress of pain
2. shout or scream, especially to express one's fear, pain, or grief
noun
1. a loud inarticulate shout or scream expressing a powerful feeling or emotion
So, basically, crying means you're emotional.
Sometimes it's hard to enjoy crying. Usually because it's when something bad happens to us that makes us cry. A close friend or family member passes away, so we cry. A beloved pet was hit by a car or was sick and had to be put down, either way, we cry. Going through a breakup, someone you've loved for a long time... for that to suddenly be over, we cry. Being let go from a job, no more money, unable to support your family; that could make someone cry.
My point is that shit happens, and it sucks---obviously, because it's shit---and it feels like there is nothing we can do other than cry.
I am a cryer. Not when people are around; I've hardly let anyone see me cry because they just don't need to know my business. If I'm going to cry, then it's going to be somewhere where I can feel like I can cry. If it's in the bathroom after someone calls me a---not so nice---name right to my face, then I'm okay with that. If it's in the car in the back seat because I had to say goodbye to my dog way too soon, then sure. If it's in my room, soaking my pillow because I continuously think of the many things wrong with my life and hating the kind of person I am because of it, whatever. I really don't care. Just as long as no one sees me.
I have many reasons why I cry, and really none of them are pleasant. I could go on and on about everything I cry about, and not even halfway through I would probably lose the majority of you. And besides, I don't have to tell you anything.
But because I don't have to, doesn't mean I'm not going to. Mainly because writing is the easiest way for me to talk about certain serious things. Otherwise I would cry if I try to verbally speak about it.
So I guess what I could start with is why cry? (like the title of this thing) I never want to cry, I never try to make myself cry, because I don't want to; I actually despise crying, for reasons I don't think I need to get into. But I do cry, because I'm just an emotional person who gets hurt over the simplest things. Do I like being emotional? Of course not. Who on this crappy Earth likes crying right when you're in the middle of being yelled at? Insulted? If someone tells you "you're stupid" and your response is to start crying, is that going to get them to stop? No. They're only going to keep doing it because that crying makes you look weak, an easy target.
I've learned to not cry in front of people. A few different lessons taught me, actually.
Another thing about emotions, though, they get in the way. It's true. Especially love. Some people can get by without love and I'm perfectly okay in joining those people. The only person you should be concerned about is yourself; only you know yourself inside and out. And when that particular yourself is so complicated and easy to misread, then why bother trying to get someone else to understand, too? It's just more work, and more stress, and more tears, and more pain that no one needs.
And if you just so happen to let someone in your life, chances are you are going to be let down, or something else will get in the way, or after so many tries and fails you'll become so deathly afraid of it that you're just a walking stone now, and nobody can carve themselves into you because you never let them close enough to.
So you cry.
Cry, because you feel alone.
Cry, because you can't find a point.
