Before we start...

Trophy.
The hot-headed jock of inanimate insanity. He doesn't care for anybody but himself. It can get a little lonely being the most arrogant contestant in inanimate insanity. He didn't think anybody noticed that, until Cheesy started talking to him. The comedian barely has any friends, but neither does Trophy. It's worth a shot, Right? Trophy didn't know it would lead him into such a deep, dark rabbit hole.

(Objectified up until chapter 5 because I'm quirky like that)